It was great to interact with Mark Chahwan about ‘the power of space and the negativity of a void’ – I expanded this conversation with my business partner and high performance coach at 2b Limitless, Peter Charles Turner (he leads through Intellection and loves time to reflect and think) and the insight was deep, the difference between being ‘present or absent’ in life comes down to ‘opening up space or creating voids’;

Opening Up Space – ‘Being Present’

• Meditation – Opening up space in your mind
• Journaling – Opening up space for gratitude
• Exercise – Opening up space for confidence
• Community – Opening up space for connection
• Laughter – Opening up space for success

Creating Voids – ‘Being Absent’

• Procrastination – Avoiding decisions
• Judgement – Avoiding deeper reflection
• Fear – Avoiding courageous decisions
• Stagnation – Avoiding the challenge of positive change
• Regret – Avoiding the opportunity that it might not work

Are there any voids that you are opening up in your life?

How do you create the sort of ‘rhythm and tempo’ that makes us as present as we can be?

‘Be regular and orderly in the way you live so that you can be fierce and creative in the way you work.’ – Gustav Flaubert

Rituals – ‘Strengths-Based Behaviours, Practiced on Purpose and Positioned to Enhance, Engagement, Performance and Joy!‘ – 2b Limitless

When used purposefully, rituals open up the space for you to be creative, joyful, disruptive in the way you think, connected, confident, positive and community focused.

Conversely, when we sidestep the chance to create or engage in meaningful rituals, we inadvertently craft a void, often filled with negativity. 

‘By opening up positive space in our lives, we not only invite joy and creativity in… we also become a source of light and possibility for ourselves and those around us.’ – Mick Todd

Opening Up Spaces with Rituals – 6 Key Insights

1. Creativity: Rituals act as a conduit for innovative thinking. Just as writers often have rituals to initiate their writing process, setting aside intentional time and space opens the mind into a state of flow, fostering creativity and innovative ideas. 

 2. Enjoyment: Rituals augment pleasure. For instance, the simple act of brewing tea or a coffee can become a sensory delight when made into a ritual, turning an ordinary moment into an extraordinary experience and a key anchor point for a great day. 

3. Disruptive Thought: Challenging the status quo and cultivating novel insights often requires stepping out of routine thinking. Rituals that promote reflection or push boundaries lead to transformative ideas in the way you work and live. Peter Charles Turner really leverages his ‘Intellection’ strength to thrive here.) 

 4. Connection: Many rituals are communal in nature. Whether it’s a family dinner or a community festival, these gatherings foster bonds, create shared memories, and promote a sense of belonging. 

 5. Confidence and Positivity: Personal rituals, like morning affirmations or visualization exercises, are powerful tools in nurturing self-belief and maintaining a positive mindset. 

 6. Community: Larger, community-based rituals reinforce shared values, create a collective identity, and enhance social cohesion. Connection creates commitment that builds a sense of belonging. 

‘The void created by ignoring the pain points in life doesn’t just create an emptiness; it echoes with the haunting sounds of missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential.’ – Mick Todd

The Void of Avoidance – 6 Key Insights

Avoiding the opportunity to establish or engage in rituals leads to a void, which often becomes occupied by less constructive emotions and behaviors: 

 1. Judgment: Without the grounding that rituals provide, we find ourselves more susceptible to societal pressures, leading to self-judgment or preoccupied by the perceived judgments of others. 

 2. Procrastination: Without the structure and intention that rituals offer, we can easily become adrift in a sea of distractions and indecision. 

3. Fear and Uncertainty: The absence of ritualistic anchors heighten feelings of fear, particularly in the face of change or the unknown.

4. Stagnation: Rituals often drive personal growth and community progression. Without them, there’s a risk of becoming stuck in repetitive, unfulfilling patterns.

5. Regret: Over time, the void give rise to a sense of missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential. 

 6. Frustration and Isolation: Lack of connection and shared experiences can lead to feelings of isolation and dissatisfaction. 

What are the rituals that make a difference?

1. Daily Reflection or Meditation: Starting or ending the day with a few minutes of silence, reflection, or meditation can help you connect with your inner self, set intentions, and remain grounded. – I love Calm or Headspace for Organizations as a tool.

2. Gratitude Journaling: Taking time daily or weekly to jot down things you’re grateful for can shift your focus from what’s lacking or stressful to what’s abundant and positive in your life. – I love the Five Minute Infosec Journal (I am on a streak of over 270+ days.)

3. Physical Activity: Whether it’s a daily walk, yoga, or an intense workout, physical activity releases endorphins, increases energy, and enhances well-being. David Labouchere and Victoria Tipper lead this for 2b Limitless (Bootcamp, The Al Qudra Morning Rides, Ice Baths…)

4. Setting Intentions: Start your day by setting clear, positive intentions. This ritual channels your energy towards fulfilling activities and interactions. Tony Martin is massively intentional around what matters most to him.

5. Connecting with Nature: Spending regular time in nature, whether it’s a walk in the park or tending to a garden, can help reduce stress and increase feelings of connection and joy.

6. Regular Detox from Technology: Setting aside specific times where you disconnect from screens can help you reconnect with yourself and those around you. ‘Outside Offline’.

7. Reading: Setting aside dedicated time to read, whether it’s personal development books or just for pleasure, stimulates the mind and expands horizons. There are different ways to do this… Audible is my preferred approach as I am an auditory learner. I am loving ‘Belonging’ – Owen Eastwood at the moment.

8. Celebrating Small Wins: Recognizing and celebrating even small achievements can cultivate a mindset of abundance and appreciation. I love how Ian Ward brings this mindset of celebrating your incremental gains. (I hope you had a win at golf on the weekend?) ‘You get more of what you celebrate!’

9. Community Engagement: Regularly participating in community or group activities, like volunteering, mentoring, making charitable contributions fosters connection and gives a sense of purpose beyond self. Guido De Wilde leads through this type of service.

10. Creative Expression: Engage in some form of artistic expression, whether it’s writing, painting, dancing, or playing a musical instrument. It’s a wonderful outlet for emotions and a catalyst for joy and creativity. This is an approach that I love in Melda Yasar Cebe – Remember creativity takes many different shapes.

12. Affirmations: Repeating positive affirmations can rewire the brain to foster positive thinking and cultivate a growth mindset. Garreth Ewing creates powerful starts to the day through this approach.

‘Every day, in every way I am getting better and better!’

13. Setting Boundaries: Ensuring you set aside personal time and space regularly helps maintain balance and ensures you have energy for growth and connection. Melanie Bangcaya-Jadi creates real personal and professional balance through her boundaries.

Rituals – When approached with mindfulness and intention, have an unmatched potential to elevate your life, catalysing positive change and fostering deep connections, self belief and a genuine sense of belonging. 

On the other hand, avoidance creates a void, leaving room for negativity to creep in and hinder growth and confidence.

By recognising the value of rituals and actively incorporating them into your life, you can unlock vast reservoirs of creativity, joy, and community – Truly Present.

Additional Insights

Victoria Tipper shared key ideas;

Daily:

• 1/4tsp Himalayan salt/sea salt in water upon waking to help rehydrate (optional to add lemon for extra liver support)
• Morning sunshine within 30  minutes of waking, without sunglasses on to help boost serotonin and melatonin that evening as helps with sleep
• Morning movement to boost dopamine
• Practice daily gratitude – what 3 things grateful for that day before bed (helps with mindset, sleep and reducing inflammation)
• Eat within minimum of 12 hour window – Give your body an opportunity to recover
• Wait 1 hour before consuming anything (except morning salt/lemon water)
• Finish consuming foods and drinks 3 hours before going to sleep (except water and herbal teas)
• Power down hour before bed – limit screens or use blue blockers. Avoid doing anything that will activate the brain (emails/ watching the news, social media)
• Connect with someone you love
• Experiment with different forms of breath work and find what suits you (box breathing, 4-7-8, Wim Hof, guided meditations on apps like Headspace or Calm). Especially important to practice deep belly breathing for 1-3 minutes before meals to aid digestion
• Move more and sit less – sitting is the new smoking! Find ways that work for you (stand at least every hour, walking meetings, standing desks, always walk if on the phone), aim for 10,000 steps a day
• Walk for 20-30 mins after meals (if you can’t head out for a walk then calf raises under the desk can help lower blood sugar)

Weekly:

• Consume 30 different types of plant based food to fuel a varied microbiome (fruit, vegetables, nuts/seeds, legumes, herbs)
• Consider ice baths and sauna use (great for dopamine, longevity and immunity)
• Reflection of what went well for you that week, what will make the next week great
• Prioritise play at least once a week, aim for more if you can open up space. What makes your heart sing and giggle? Do that more!’You learn more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of a conversation!’ – Aristotle
• One to ones with people you love and those that leave you feeling energised
• 2-3 strength training sessions
• Mobility session to prevent injuries

Monthly:

• Update of individual strengths based rituals – What are the upgrades from the month before?
• Reflect on what’s distracting you from your goals – What’s stealing your focus? How will you feed the focus and starve the distractions?

Quarterly:

1. Evaluate and update goals, what have you achieved?
2. What went well?
3. What didn’t?
4. What are your learnings?
5. What’s next?

Happiness often seems to be an elusive state but throughout my long executive coaching career the things that I see really perpetuate are;

1. Meaningful relationships
2. Meaningful work
3. Meaningful contribution beyond self
4. Putting yourself in positions where you are stretched and challenged
5. A sense of gratitude for the opportunities that you have (no matter what they look like to begin with)

What are the things that you need to do consistently to build ‘genuine happiness’.

These observations are not extraordinary, they align with a substantial body of research and expert opinion on the subject of ‘happiness and well-being’. Genuine happiness results from a combination of external and internal factors. To build and maintain genuine happiness, consider how you turn the following practices into rituals :

(Rituals – Strengths-Based Behaviours, Practiced on Purpose and Positioned to Enhance Engagement, Performance and Happiness.)

1. Self-awareness and Mindfulness: Being aware of your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors helps you make choices that align with your true self. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, can enhance this awareness.

(Jonno Pittock is the person who has taught me the most about this and is ability to create space is something I love.)

‘Do not look for sanctuary in anyone except yourself.’ – Buddha

2. Physical Health: Regular exercise, a balanced diet, adequate sleep, and avoiding harmful substances contribute to both physical and mental well-being. (Victoria Tipper has taught me the most about physical health and well being and the best ways to manage them.)

‘Take care of your body. It is the only place you have to live.’ – Jim Rohn

3. Setting and Achieving Goals: Pursue goals that align with your values and passions. Achieving small milestones can boost self-esteem and provide a sense of purpose.

(Billy Harkin is the most phenomenal goal-setter and goal getter that I know.)

‘What you get from achieving your goals is not as important as who you become by achieving them.’ – Zig Ziglar

4. Continuous Learning: Acquiring new skills or knowledge not only stretches and challenges you but can also provide a sense of accomplishment.

( Peter Charles Turner is prolific when it comes to learning… I cannot wait for his book in 2024. The 2b Limitless 2bAPC is a product of his curiosity to know more.)

‘The beautiful thing about learning is that nobody can take it away from you.’ – B.B. King

5. Positive Social Connections & Community : Surround yourself with positive, supportive people. Building and maintaining healthy relationships is vital for emotional well-being.

( Kirstin Daly (Chartered MCIPD, CPHR) embodies a focus on the behaviours that make people feel like they belong. Her warmth and support is something I cherish.)

‘Connection creates commitment.’ – Valentina Vescovi

6. Resilience: Develop coping strategies to handle setbacks. This includes reframing negative thoughts, seeking support, and focusing on solutions.

( Ben Corrigan one day we will write a book about this I am so proud of what I have learnt from you about this topic.)

‘I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it.’ – Maya Angelou

7. Practice Gratitude: As you mentioned, recognizing and appreciating what you have, rather than focusing on what you lack, can shift your perspective and elevate your mood.

( Paul White and Guido De Wilde best capture this for me… No matter what life throws at them they see it as an opportunity and to embrace it regardless of the circumstances.)

‘The more you practice gratitude the more you see just how much that you have to be grateful for!’ – Don Miguel Ruiz

8. Acts of Kindness: Altruistic acts, no matter how small, can boost happiness levels. Helping others can create a sense of purpose and connection.

This is my mum, Madonna Todd – Her whole mentality is ‘First look to serve and support others!’

‘Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.’ – Henry James

9. Limiting Comparisons: Avoid comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own journey, and such comparisons often lead to unnecessary stress.

( Sarah Locke has this amazing sense of humility that enables her to stay focused on the best version of herself.)

‘Comparison is the thief of joy!’ – Theodore Roosevelt 

10. Manage Stress: Find healthy ways to manage stress, such as through relaxation techniques, hobbies, or spending time in nature.

( Melda Yasar Cebe is a person that I really admire around this space her ability to recognise a pattern and change it is something that sets her apart for me.)

‘The best time to relax is when you do not have time for it.’ – Sydney J. Harris

11. Limiting Technology: While technology is beneficial, excessive screen time, especially on social media, can lead to feelings of isolation and inadequacy. Set boundaries for your tech use.

(David Labouchere is relentless around his disconnection rituals and this discipline enables him to maintain such extraordinary results.)

‘Carefree time, outside and offline is essential for high performance and happiness.’ – David Labouchere MBE

12. Spiritual or Existential Exploration: For many, exploring their spirituality or seeking existential meaning can be a profound source of happiness and contentment.

(Valentina Vescovi is such a deep thinker and I value how she uses her human experiences to grow in a profound way.)

‘We are not human beings having a spiritual experience we are spiritual beings having a human experience.’ – Pierre Tellihard de Chardin

13. Seek Professional Help When Needed: If you feel overwhelmed, it’s essential to seek help, whether it’s talking to a trusted person or seeking professional coaching and support.

(I have so many great examples of this from clients all over the world but the one tat stands out to me is Scott Thiel on the back of this he has grown in so many dynamic ways.)

‘The greatest show of strength and humility is the wisdom to ask for help when you need it.’ – Unknown

14. Regular Reflection: Regularly reflect on your life, happiness levels, and goals. This can help you make necessary adjustments and stay on the path to genuine happiness.

(Sam Instone, Graham Borthwick and Martin Dewhurst are phenomenal at their consistency and rigour around their reflections and reviews and how they use the information to grow and develop is inspiring to me.)

‘It is the space between the notes that makes the music!’ – Wayne Dyer

*15. Focus on Your Strengths: 2b Limitless is ‘Overtly Strengths-Based (we use the Gallup CliftonStrengths® StrengthsFinder Assessment to identify individual, team and organisational strengths) – I love the insight that ‘People who focus on their strengths are three times more likely to report a higher quality of life.’ It is amazing how a focus on strengths so positively shifts perspective. The ability to spend more time doing the things that you do best and that bring out the best in you and those who matter most to you.

(There are so many people that I work with that have used their strengths as the platform to grow themselves and their teams but the person that stands out to me is Dan Brown – His focus on strengths has had a profound impact on his personal and professional story.)

‘What will happen when we focus on what is right with people rather than fixating on what is wrong with them?’ – Donald O. Clifton

Remember, happiness is a quest, not a destination. It requires consistent effort, but by incorporating these practices into your ‘Great Week’, you’ll be better equipped to cultivate and sustain genuine happiness.

I am so proud to lead the 2b Limitless team of ‘Elite Performance Coaches’ with my Partner Peter Charles Turner – Our team of Victoria Tipper, David Labouchere, Tony Martin, Garreth Ewing, Melda Yasar Cebe, Guido de Wilde and Ian Ward – These brilliant coaches are committed to helping people, teams and organisations build success and happiness.

‘Because… Your world, needs you at your best!’ – 2b Limitless

Great to listen to a discussion featuring former Rugby League International James Graham.

What comes first?

Confidence or Skill?

The answer fascinated me…

Hard Work

I really love this answer as it represents everything that the brilliant founders, entrepreneurs and business owners and leaders that I work with all over the world embody.

One of these leaders Sam Instone the Founder and Co-CEO of AES International and I connected last week… I love Sam’s insight into the mindset and behaviours it takes to build a high performance business, powered by deeply engaged teams.

‘There is nothing more unequal, than the equal treatment of unequals…’ – Sam Instone

This is not a ‘euphemism’ for treat people however you want as long as you get to your objective… More the path trodden by the very best… Sir Alex Ferguson, the storied Manchester United Manager or Steve Jobs the legendary leader of Apple applied these principles to build not only powerful organisations but brands that changed the game and achieved spectacular results whilst captivating a generation.

High-performance leaders who leverage the mindset of “There is nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequals” typically hold certain beliefs and exhibit specific behaviors that acknowledge and address the differences among their team members to ensure fairness, equity, and success for all. Here are some of those beliefs and behaviors:

1. Beliefs:

Individual Strengths and Weaknesses: Everyone has unique strengths and weaknesses. A one-size-fits-all approach does not work for managing people or projects.

Equity Over Equality: Treating everyone exactly the same (equality) does not always result in fair outcomes. It is more important to address individual needs and circumstances (equity) to ensure success for all.

Diverse Perspectives Add Value: Different backgrounds, experiences, and perspectives lead to better decision-making and problem-solving.

Inclusive Environment: Creating an inclusive environment where all team members feel valued, respected, and supported is essential for high performance.

2. Behaviours:

Tailored Approach: Adapt leadership and communication styles to suit the needs and preferences of individual team members.

Active Listening: Listen actively to understand the unique perspectives, ideas, and concerns of team members.

Encourage Input: Actively seek and value input from all team members, not just those who are the most vocal or dominant.

Provide Individualized Support: Offer personalized support, resources, and opportunities to team members based on their individual needs, strengths, and development areas.

Fair and Equitable Treatment: Make decisions and allocate resources in a way that is fair and equitable, rather than simply treating everyone the same.

Recognition of Individual Contributions: Recognize and celebrate the individual contributions of team members, acknowledging that different people may contribute in different ways.

Promote Inclusivity: Foster an inclusive environment where all team members feel valued, respected, and supported, regardless of their background, experiences, or characteristics.

By acknowledging and addressing the unique needs, strengths, and contributions of each team member, high-performance leaders can create a more inclusive, equitable, and effective team environment that leverages the talents of all team members to achieve success.

Just for the record I am not a Manchester United fan, my daughter and I celebrated Father’s Day (the Antipodean version) spent wandering around my favourite city in the world and finished the day in the best way possible… Watching Arsenal F.C (North London Forever) defeat the Red Devils 3-1.

Great to be back in London and looking forward to a powerhouse two weeks with great clients… It all starts with Julian Sharpe‘s Studio Day at tp bennett today.